Friday, February 12, 2010

Real People in Love: Cole & Jus (Cole's Perspective)

As promised here are my responses, I hope you aren't super bored of my ramblings about our life.

How old are you and Jus?
I'm 24 and Jus is 25, he's 9 months older than me so he was in the world before I was a thought.

What are your occupations?
Jus works at his family friend's factory and I work at my parent's restaurant. We're both itching to do something else. Hopefully we'll have our own business soon, we're ready for it.

How did you meet?
The short answer is we went to middle school together.
So here's the long answer:
My parents live on a country road and when I was in high school people used to race their cars down it. One day my mom was driving me home from school and got to the end of the road and there were two kids (one was our neighbor, the other was Jus) getting ready to race. My mom (who went to racing school) said "I'm going to teach these kids a lesson" so she pulled around them and drove down the center of the road as slowly as possible. Our neighbor was on a motorcycle and sped past her, Jus, who was in a car, started to race her. When we got to the end of our road my mom said she was going to go to our neighbor's house to tell them how dangerous they were being but I was embarrassed and begged her to drop me off first. She went to the boy's house and ended up getting in a screaming match with Jus. They got in each other's faces and from then on Jus was known as "Trans-am boy."
We graduated high school and I went away to college but after two and a half years I got very sick and had to come home. I reconnected with a high school friend who was dating one of Jus's friends. We all started hanging out and Jus and I became good friends. When we went out we always flirted and acted like we were together but I was never interested. Luckily for me Jus was patient and waited 9 months until I finally agreed to date him. The rest is history.

How did you get engaged?
(I posted this story right after we got engaged with some pictures of my ring but thought I'd share the story again)
Fridays are long days for me. I usually work at least thirteen hours so when I come home I just like to shower and zone out in front of the tv. All day I was a little worried about Jus because he said he had a stomach ache and I couldn't really get a hold of him. At the end of the night on Fridays all of my parent's employees sit together and eat dinner. My mom kept bugging us to get up and clean so we could go home but we were exhausted and moving extremely slowly.
When I got home Jus was in his guitar room, I went in and plopped myself down on the sofa complaining about how long my day was.
The Rolling Stones' Wild Horses came on and Jus got up and asked me if I wanted to dance (something we do pretty regularly). I said that I didn't really feel like it and so he asked again. I finally relented and got up to dance. I could feel Jus's hands shaking and was worried he was really sick.
While we were dancing he turned me around so my back was facing him and I felt him pull something out of his pocket. We kept dancing and he wrapped his arm around me again, opened his hand and asked me if I'd marry him. I started laughing hysterically and didn't say yes for 20 minutes!

Tell us about your wedding day (not necessarily elements but feelings too)
As of now it's just a lot of plans and dreams. My hope for the day is that all of our guests will understand how deep our love is and why we are together. AND that we will have a kick ass party.

Define Love:
Love is when someone makes you be a better version of yourself. You are happier, calmer, and more dynamic when you are with the right person.

What's the toughest part of being in a committed relationship?
Remembering to communicate even when you don't want to. It took me a while to realize Jus wasn't a mind reader and it doesn't do me any good to get mad and not talk about it. You need to have open lines of communication so that resentment doesn't build up.
It's also important to remember to speak nicely to one another. Early in our relationship I used to get pretty heated when we would talk about "hot button" topics and would say things that weren't very nice. Jus called me on this a couple of times and I've tried my hardest to respect his opinions as much as he respects mine.

What is the best part?
Having someone that understands me. There are so many times I'll look at Jus and know he's thinking the same silly thing as me.
The other best thing is having someone that can make you calm down and smile just by hugging them. There are sometimes I'll hug Jus for five minutes just because he calms me down that much.

What is the best day you and Jus have had together?
It's hard for me to just pick one, but one of my favorite days falls in my favorite weekend which is also my favorite vacation. Five months after we started dating I took Jus to my grandparent's cabin in the middle of the woods in Northern Michigan. I knew he would love the seclusion and this was the first time that we were away together. While we were there the weather was really rainy so we weren't able to take any hikes, we stayed in the cabin burning fires, reading, napping, and listening to tapes of Garrison Keilor's Lake Wobegon.
After we were there for a couple of days we were getting cabin fever (haha, lame, I know) so I decided to take Jus over the Mackinac bridge. There is a food called pasties that were brought to Northern Michigan by the Polish immigrants that built the Mackinac bridge. Pasties are a flaky dough pocket filled with sirloin, potatoes, onion, and rutabaga (I've been meaning to make them for a while) I knew Jus would like them and I was so excited to take him there.
The day was grey and rainy, we drove over the bridge, stopped and got pasties and then decided to continue driving north and drove up the highway to Whitefish Point which juts into Lake Superior. We listened to the Counting Crows on the way there and when we got to Whitefish Point the sun was shining. It was one of those days that is just perfect.

What makes you different from other couples?
We enjoy each other. There is no one I'd rather spend time with than Jus. We fight when we don't get to spend enough time together. We laugh together all the time at the silliest things and have conversations that are amazing.

What is the most essential element of making it?
Communication. The hardest part of committing yourself to someone else is that they function differently than you do. Jus and I always try to talk through any disagreements and end our day with an "I love you." It doesn't do us any good to bottle up our frustration and anger.
Laughter is also important. My mom has always said laughter is the most important thing and lately I've been agreeing. Nobody makes me laugh more than Jus does when he does his Edie voice.

What is your favorite thing to do together?
Honestly, we almost do everything together and I love doing anything so long as Jus is next to me.
We really enjoy going out to eat. When we started dating we both lived at home so the only time we could really be alone was when we went out to eat. We still go out to eat a lot (way more than we should) and sometimes we make silly rules like we have to try something new.

Do you have a song?
Originally our song was Bob Dylan's "Lay, Lady, Lay." I'd always loved this song and one night Jus said it should be our song. After that we said that the Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses" should be our song and it was playing when Jus proposed so now our song is "Wild Horses," it's the song we'll dance to for our first song.

What are your hopes for the future?
To celebrate our 50th anniversary. To have two kids. To own our own business. To laugh together, hold hands and love being together when we are 80.

Anything else the world needs to know about love?
You have to be willing to work to make it good. Being lazy or selfish in a relationship isn't love. Your relationship will only get better when you think of the other person before yourself.


BrittanButterfly said...

I love you guys, your so cute! you are so smiley, you both have the sweetest smiles! thanks for sharing about your relationship!!!

Kassi said...

so sweet cole, you two make a beautiful couple!
and i agree with brittan, you do both have the sweetest smiles!!

my name is lauren. said...

Loved reading your love story and answers from both perspectives. Boys use so few words. It's funny. Craigs answers were so short on this blog I did awhile back... Still good but just funny how guys and girls are different. I thought about this while seeing the difference between your post and jus' post. Too funny. Boys are short, sweet and to the point :).

Celeste said...

your story is so precious- i'm happy that you two found one another :)

danielle and dinosaur toes said...

Aw, I loved reading your story, Cole! I think it's so funny that you weren't interested in Justin at first, and it reminds me of the story my friend's mom told me about she and her husband. I asked how they met, and to make a long story short, she basically said that he was annoying and she went out with him just to shut him up, but she never really liked him. Then I asked what changed and she said, "Well, I guess he just sort of grew on me." So silly when that's how it starts out!

Micaela said...

you know what i love about these photographs? that you are always laughing and smiling! like you guys really do have fun with each other.

And i adore that he filled out his own ;)
and that you hug him to feel better. le love, indeed!