Thursday, June 9, 2011

Real People in Love: Cole & Jus (again)

Since I missed Real People in Love yesterday I thought I would make up for it by reposting my answers here. I've changed what's applicable, but you can read my first version here and my second version here plus Jus's take on things here.

How old are you and Jus?
I'm 25 and Jus is 26, we're only the same age for 3 months and it just so happened that we got married during those 3 months. Also, I'm not very excited about turning 26 this year but that's a whole different story.

When's your anniversary?
We started dating June 9, 2007 and got married October 16, 2010. 

What are your occupations?
Jus is operations manager at a street sweeping company and has a radio show and I'm a baker & waitress at my parent's restaurant and a part time wedding planner.

How did you meet?
The short answer is we went to middle school together.
So here's the long answer:
My parents live on a country road and when I was in high school people used to race their cars down it. One day my mom was driving me home from school and got to the end of the road and there were two kids (one was our neighbor, the other was Jus) getting ready to race. My mom (who went to racing school) said "I'm going to teach these kids a lesson" so she pulled around them and drove down the center of the road as slowly as possible. Our neighbor was on a motorcycle and sped past her, Jus, who was in a car, started to race her. When we got to the end of our road my mom said she was going to go to our neighbor's house to tell them how dangerous they were being but I was embarrassed and begged her to drop me off first. She went to the boy's house and ended up getting in a screaming match with Jus. They got in each other's faces and from then on Jus was known as "Trans-am boy."
We graduated high school and I went away to college but after two and a half years I got very sick and had to come home. I reconnected with a high school friend who was dating one of Jus's friends (later his best man). We all started hanging out and Jus and I became good friends. When we went out we always flirted and acted like we were together but I was never interested. Luckily for me Jus was patient and waited 9 months until I finally agreed to date him. The rest is history.

How did you get engaged?
(I posted this story right after we got engaged with some pictures of my ring but thought I'd share the story again)
Fridays are long days for me. I usually work at least thirteen hours so when I come home I just like to shower and zone out in front of the tv. All day I was a little worried about Jus because he said he had a stomach ache and I couldn't really get a hold of him. At the end of the night on Fridays all of my parent's employees sit together and eat dinner. My mom kept bugging us to get up and clean so we could go home but we were exhausted and moving extremely slowly.
When I got home Jus was in his guitar room, I went in and plopped myself down on the sofa complaining about how long my day was.
The Rolling Stones' Wild Horses came on and Jus got up and asked me if I wanted to dance (something we did pretty regularly). I said that I didn't really feel like it and so he asked again. I finally relented and got up to dance. I could feel Jus's hands shaking and was worried he was really sick.
While we were dancing he turned me around so my back was facing him and I felt him pull something out of his pocket. We kept dancing and he wrapped his arm around me again, opened his hand and asked me if I'd marry him. I started laughing hysterically and didn't say yes for 20 minutes!

Tell us about your wedding day (not necessarily elements but feelings too)
Our wedding was amazing. The week before our wedding we spent finalizing all decorations & setting up so we would be done by the time out of town family arrived that Thursday. We had our rehearsal dinner at a local restaurant with all of our out of town family & friends and afterwards everyone came to the Behemoth so our loved ones could see the house we bought 20 days before the wedding.
The wedding day itself was gorgeous. I woke up in my childhood bed and got ready with my mom, Banan & my BFF Beth. Jus & I had our first look at my parent's house around one and the things he said to me in that moment are things I'll keep to myself until I tell my daughters on their wedding days.
We took pictures for a long time and then headed to the ceremony location. I was a crying mess that whole day so we have a lot of pictures of me making an ugly cry face.
Our guests were greeted with champagne and at 5:30 my dad & I walked down the aisle (crying the whole way) to Jus. Our ceremony was incredibly personal. Our parents read us letters giving us their blessings. Jus & I wrote our own vows and his were the best thing I've ever heard.
The best moment of the whole day followed the ceremony as Jus & I led a parade of our friends and family (and a brass band) down the street two blocks to the reception. I felt like I was absolutely floating as I walked down the street hand in hand with my new husband.
Our reception featured wonderful food and toasts. Our friends and families stayed until the wee hours dancing so much that at one point we were concerned we'd blow out the windows on the first floor of the building.
I spent the entire day engulfed in love and it was the absolute perfect way for Jus & I to start our life as a married couple.
(I feel silly telling you things without showing you pictures, I promise promise they're coming.)

Define Love:
Love is when someone makes you be a better version of yourself. You are happier, calmer, and more dynamic when you are with the right person. Love is wanting to share all of lifes ups and downs with one person.

What's the toughest part of being in a committed relationship?
Remembering to communicate even when you don't want to. It took me a while to realize Jus wasn't a mind reader and it doesn't do me any good to get mad and not talk about it. You need to have open lines of communication so that resentment doesn't build up.
It's also important to remember to speak nicely to one another. Early in our relationship I used to get pretty heated when we would talk about "hot button" topics and would say things that weren't very nice. Jus called me on this a couple of times and I've tried my hardest to respect his opinions as much as he respects mine.
The thing we've dealt with most lately is letting outside stresses affect our relationship. With the stress of  living in a construction zone, working 40+ hours and starting my wedding planning business I've nagged & blamed Jus a lot. Sometimes it's hard to remember we're on the same team and going through the same things but it's so important to keep in mind.

What is the best part?
Having someone to go through life with. We've already experienced so much together and now we're at the beginning of our grown up lives, living in a grown up house with a world full of possibilities. Jus & I are such a solid team and rely on each other for so much that it's exciting to think of what our life will become.

What is the best day you and Jus have had together?
Our wedding day. I have never felt so incredibly happy as I did leading the parade to our reception (and Jus feels the exact same way).

What makes you different from other couples?
We enjoy each other. There is no one I'd rather spend time with than Jus. We fight when we don't get to spend enough time together. We laugh together all the time at the silliest things and have conversations that are amazing.
Lately I've also been thinking about how much growing up we've done together. While we weren't high school (or college) sweethearts we started dating when I was 21 and were very serious from the beginning. So basically, from the time we were 21 & 22 we have been committed to each other and all of our growing up experiences have been done with the other's love & support.
We're also crazy in the same way. Not many people would take on as big of a project as the Behemoth but Jus & I wouldn't have it any other way. We both take immense pride in our work and I know that one day the Behemoth will symbolize our hard work & love at the beginning of our marriage.

What is the most essential element of making it?
Communication. The hardest part of committing yourself to someone else is that they function differently than you do. Jus and I always try to talk through any disagreements and end our day with an "I love you." It doesn't do us any good to bottle up our frustration and anger.
Laughter is also important. My mom has always said laughter is the most important thing and l couldn't agree more. Nobody makes me laugh more than Jus does when he does his Edie voice and if I know Jus is mad I immediately start acting as goofy as possible to get him to laugh.

What is your favorite thing to do together?
Honestly, we almost do everything together and I love doing anything so long as Jus is next to me.
We love going to concerts and usually prefer to go with just the two of us rather than a group of people.

Do you have a song?
Originally our song was Bob Dylan's "Lay, Lady, Lay." I'd always loved this song and one night Jus said it should be our song. After that we said that the Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses" should be our song and it was playing when Jus proposed so now our song is "Wild Horses," our first dance as a married couple was to "Wild Horses," all 7ish minutes.

What are your hopes for the future?
To celebrate our 50th anniversary. To finish the Behemoth and know that we've put in the work to make it ours. To raise two kids in the Behemoth and give them the security of love that our parents gave us. To laugh together, hold hands and love being together when we are 80.

Anything else the world needs to know about love?
You have to be willing to work to make it good. Being lazy or selfish in a relationship isn't love. Your relationship will only get better when you think of the other person before yourself and never keep tally of the times you have.

So there you have it, my third take on Real People in Love, it's kind of interesting to see how my answers have grown as our relationship has.

PS I'm extending the deadline for the Color Me Happy Package Exchange till Friday so if you'd still like to sign up shoot me an email!


Jessica Renee said...

I loved reading about you and your honey!! Love is seriously the best thing ever! :)

And I'm so bummed to be on the broke side right now or else I'd totally join up in the swap. I've always wanted to do one!

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Weird. Tried commenting before so if this is a second comment from me sorry!

I just said that I loved reading this and I think you two are such a fun couple!

Caitlin said...

So great to read more about you two. You both are so lovely and clearly so in love. <33

Jessica said...

Aww, I love that you did real people in love on yourself!!! Your wedding dress: gorgeous.

Sandy a la Mode said...

i loved reading this!! you two are adorable!!

Anonymous said...

You guys have such a lovely story! And I adore that photo of you all walking down the street on your wedding day, soooo fun!

Lissa Chandler said...

i love that you did this a second time :)